Primary Colors

October 2000 | The real difference between the parties

Since I started this little weekly Substack experiment last fall, my wonderful assistant Hannah and I have been digging around like crazy anthropologists through my jam-packed office drawers. They are stuffed with pretty opinionated (sometimes nutty) essays I've written over the past few decades for my magazine, PAPER, observing and documenting the state of culture and how I saw it unfold. I’ve actually been pretty surprised in rereading these vintage jewels when I realized so much of the stuff I ranted about, feared, hated, celebrated, and was inspired by back in those days was not so drastically different than it is today. That is until I came upon this crazy column that I wrote in the year 2000 called “PRIMARY COLORS”. This one really shocked me because every single thing about it feels so foreign and unrecognizable to me that it could have been written a thousand years ago and on another planet (you’ll see what I mean when you read it here).

The gist of this piece was not the shocking part. It was about style and how members of a particular belief system often chose brands and aesthetics—whether fashion or lifestyle—in line with that belief system. I used to call them “fashion gangs”. In those much simpler days, Democrats used Apple computers and wore Prada while Republicans used PCs and wore Brooks Brothers. In this piece I wrote 25 years ago, I focused on something very normal for that time in history: the difference between the style of Democrats and Republicans. I do remember having fun writing it and thinking how funny it was when it came out.

Identity dressing has been around forever and still exists today. That’s not what stopped me dead in my tracks about this vintage essay. My jaw dropped when I read my old description of Republicans. It was like reading ancient history. It dawned on me that there really is no Republican Party anymore in 2025. The Republican Party I wrote about twenty years ago no longer exists. Now, trust is gone, cruelty and violence have moved in, and police are the enemy, who I fear are soon to be replaced by mercenary J6 convicts let free to exact revenge. And suddenly, the oligarchy is in charge. And what about the style? Instead of PCs and Brooks Brothers, it’s Tesla cybertrucks, fake Village People performers, big plastic surgical breasts and botox, fast fried food, and Billionaire style and Billionaire wife style.

Back in 2016, we could all easily differentiate between a liberal, multiracial, right-brained, rainbow flag-waving, urban dwelling, animal-loving, culture-loving DEMOCRAT and a white, Middle American, gun-toting, angry, Confederate flag-waving, MAGA REPUBLICAN. On the heels of the recent election and inauguration of the convicted felon, fraud, and sexual predator, a majority of the hardcore MAGA loyalists are still branding stylistically in ways that are in your face, from gold sneakers and red baseball caps to American flag coats. But there also seems to be a whole new segment of Trump supporters who don’t necessarily want to go cheesy or be identified by a red hat. One image that comes to mind is that of RFK Jr. sitting uncomfortably on that private gas-guzzling jet, surrounded by McDonald’s burgers and fries. Yet there he was. Then there was white bread Mark Zuckerberg wearing a sweater, medallion, and curly long locks for his meetup with Trumpeter Joe Rogan. OMG.

MAGA style has also become more influenced by the MAGA matriarchs of Palm Beach (should be a TV show) since the Inauguration, where Melania and Ivanka have led the way. It was a huge shock to me to witness the sudden flip-flop of the fashion world rearing its ugly head from the fawning mainstream old-school fashion press as they covered first lady Melania and first daughter Ivanka as new American fashion icons. Then those tragic sellouts followed suits (to keep their jobs?) by somehow convincing themselves it’s important to cover them as the new chic IT women. How much of this had to do with the billionaire LVMH family, the Arnaults, support of TRUMP these days, busted sitting front and center in the capitol as the 47th took the oath? How does LVMH reconcile the incredible misogyny, racism, transphobia, and homophobia of the new administration with their millions of customers and design teams? Did this help Suzy Menkes and Vanessa Friedman (NY Times) and even Vogue Magazine reconcile their ass-kissing reviews of and deep dives into Melania and Ivanka’s Dior and Givenchy fashion looks? It horrifies me. Would they have no problem writing about Eva Braun’s fabulous custom wardrobe? And oh brother you don’t even want to know what I did when I saw Apple’s Tim Cook tacitly there to support Trump front and center at his inauguration and OMG, the same went for Snoop Dogg too. My disappointment is DEEP seeing such a lack of ethics from those I used to respect. Believe me, I know I’m a bit guilty as charged myself as I post my thoughts on Instagram (owned by Meta) and cancel my New York Times subscription (after 50 years) but still keep the digital puzzle section. I’m trying to figure out how to navigate this all and find a way to at least keep my opinions out there.

So, in all this darkness, are you ready to read a little light-hearted fantasy from the past about Democrats and Republicans? It’s crazy hard to believe we were ever there. And trust me, we’ll never be there again. So read it and weep kids. (And don’t forget to resist and support truth and ethics in journalism) K.H.

(Cover of Björk)

October 2000

READY FOR ANOTHER ONE OF MY GOOFY, AMATEUR SCIENTIFIC STYLE THEORIES, KIDS? The other night I was having dinner with friends when, after some anti-Giuliani, anti-Lazio and anti-Bush banter, the conversation shifted to computers. One friend, a well-known sixtysomething writer from the pre-digital generation, was still not able to e-mail her copy to her editor because of her sluggish 13-year-old computer, which she'd become accustomed to using instead of a type-writer. She joked about how she needed to finally enter the Digital Age with a new computer that could e-mail, and I began lobbying her to go Apple rather than PC. Before I knew it, I actually heard myself tell her that Apple was the chic computer that had style and was for Democrats, while PCs were ugly and were for Republicans. She looked at me like I was nuts, but I feel certain I convinced her. She will soon be ordering an iMac.

I returned home that night just in time to turn on the tube and see iMacs being installed at the Democratic convention, reinforcing my theory (iMac equals style equals Democrats). Now we all know that Apple wouldn't have been caught dead installing Macs in Philly at the Republican convention. You may think I'm crazy, but I would suspect that if you counted, the majority of Mac owners in this country are Democrats, not Republicans. Party lines are often a style thing. Republicans don't like to drive Saabs or Volvos. (Go ahead—count the Democrats driving these cars.) They don't choose to live in modern houses or buy modern furniture. And art—any mayor that would put cows all over New York City and call it art or try to close down a museum because of a radical painting just has to be a Republican. I may be a fool for saying this without doing my research, but let's just say it's a hunch.

All this got me thinking about politics and style. If I may indulge in another generalization, I bet there are very few extraordinarily creative people who believe in the Republican ethos. Creativity and conservatism simply do not seem to work together. Innovation, experimentation and subversion are as uncharacteristic of the right-wing as prudishness and traditionalism are of the left.

Take fashion, for example. I feel certain that Republicans would not feel comfortable wearing Prada. Too conceptual. How many staunch Republicans own Comme des Garçons outfits? Not many. Republicans don't seem to be into minimalist designers like, say, Calvin Klein or Jil Sander either. Now Bill Blass or Oscar de la Renta—that’s another story. Republicans who like to dress up are not interested in reinventing where the armhole is. They don't want to stop traffic. They want to look normal. Not too little, not too much. Those on the right also want to look well-defined sexually. (No androgyny, no drag, no nudity.) And traditional: Men should look businesslike in suits, and women should look ladylike in dresses. No experimentation. Nothing crazy. Nothing too conceptual or too creative.

But I think there is evidence that Republicans are more creative than we think they are—and are dying to break out. That they are really not as reined in as they would want us to believe. For years, I have seen hints of this at the large conservative emporium Brooks Brothers. A dead giveaway is something called the "fun shirt," which Brooks Brothers used to make and sell by the bushel for many years. These motley, crazy-looking shirts were their traditionally tailored button-downs made of a mad clash of remnant-striped, checkered and polka-dotted fabrics instead of the classic white. A great way for even the most staunch conservative to clown it up and express their "other side."

Another big Republican fashion mutation that has always intrigued me is the look they go for when they relax. Many old-school right-wingers hate dressing flamboyantly, but when it comes time for vacation, they become peacocks—the women turn out Day-Glo printed shifts and the men put on their pink pants with lobsters on them, topped off with clashing plaid jackets. I mean, in relax mode, these folks dress nuttier than the wildest Democrats, proving that Republicans like to have fun as much as anyone. Who knows, maybe it's all the vacation martinis that make them go wild in the style department, but I think they really have something. Just imagine if they extended this stylistic exuberance into their everyday lives! We could have salmon-flowered Lilly Pulitzer-print computers and striped, gingham and polka-dotted cars. Or Astroturf in living rooms filled with lime-green and hot-pink overstuffed furniture. Now I could get into that.